Revelation

I believe we've had a breakthrough...

I think Nathan has been thinking of me more as his big sister than as a roommate. I think he thought I was trying to be his parent, when I'm not.

I sat down with him and explained that he needs to learn how to live with other people. He needs to learn to show respect for others and their belongings. He's never had to live without family before, so he never had to learn how...until now.

I told him that as long as he treats me as his sister, I will continue to treat him as my little brother. But once he grows up and shows me the respect that he should show a roommate, I will also grant him that same respect...which is what I've been trying to do since they moved in. I told him I don't want to be his parent. He already has two of his own...he doesn't need one more. But I'd like to be his friend, and I would like to be able to trust him with my things, like my car. So if he borrows something, he needs to return it on time and in the same (or better) condition than when he borrowed it, because it's not his. I explained that if he were to take advantage of any other roommate they would revoke his privileges or kick him out.

I think it struck a chord. I don't think he realized that I was treating him more like a roomie than a relative. Cody got it right away, but maybe that's because he's not my brother. It just took Nathan a little longer and a little slap in the face.

I think we're making progress.

P.S. I know some of you are concerned about me letting a teenager borrow my car because he might wreck it. 1) my car has already been totaled and rendered worthless...by an adult I might add. 2) Nathan has no tickets or accidents and is a fairly safe driver...Cody has many, which is why Nathan may drive my car, and Cody can drive his own vehicle. 3) if it gets wrecked, it was already worthless as far as resale value goes, so I'm not worried about a few scratches or dents (we already have some...Rexburg parking lots are dangerous. I've witnessed someone backing into my car on three separate occassions), just as long as it runs well, I'm happy. 4) the moment he gives me cause to revoke his driving privileges, they will be permanently and irreversibly revoked...and he knows that. And my car is nicer than Cody's, which makes it less embarrassing for dates, so he wouldn't risk it.

P.P.S He also knows I'd take it out of his hide if he ever did do anything to my car.