Normally you would begin parenthood with an infant and then wind up with a rowdy teenager. Somehow, I'm doing things a little backward. I'm starting off with teenagers before I even get the infant.
It hasn't really been all that bad. The boys have been really good about helping out around the house and such. And they still have time to go out and have fun. We only asked that they be home before 1am.
So, imagine my surprise when Matt's alarm wakes me up this morning and I hear him get into the shower. And then I hear the front door open and shut. Matt's CLEARLY in the shower. It's 3am. Who could possibly be entering our apartment? They had a key, so it can't be a stranger. It was Nathan. He had decided to ignore curfew and just come home when he felt like it. I would have preferred that he just stayed at his friend's house until morning. I would have preferred that he call and tell me that he's sleeping over at his friend's. I got no such courtesy.
What do you do? He's not my kid, so I can't really impose any punishment. He wouldn't take it seriously anyhow. And he's 18, so he thinks he doesn't have to follow the rules.
Any suggestions?
8 comments:
here is my suggestion: YOU CAN"T GIVE AN 18 YEAR OLD A CURFEW!!!!!!! trust me it will just cause DRAMA especially because you guys arent his parents, even though you are being gracious enough to put him up. what you should do is just have them call you and let you know where they are so that you wont worry. but seriously, he is in college now and if you try to give him a curfew you are building yourself a trap! and not only that..its IDAHO! haha :)
Actually, he's NOT in college YET and he's beginning to take advantage of his new found freedom. Today he took off with my car and drove 50 miles without informing me of his plans.
he didnt even ask to use it??
In my opinion you should not have two 18 year olds living with you.
After you had your car wrecked I would think loaning it to anyone would be out of the question.
Also pack em up and send him home. Or have them get an apartment .
I never felt good about you living with the lady with all the kids and I don't feel good about you having those two live with you.
erin- give them 2 or 3 months to save up enough money to actually be able to support themselves and then make them get their own apartment because i can just see drama boiling already.
Stephanie, this is also a blessing for us having them here, though you may not see it that way. We're able to help them, and it's no money out of our pockets. In fact, we are being "paid" to help them, which means it's easier for us to eat healthier (which I need desperately at this time) and to meet our financial obligations. And the fact that they're helping around the house is also proving to be a blessing because there are so many things that I'm unable to do these days.
I appreciate your opinion, but we need this as much as they do.
I am glad to hear it working out to be a mutual blessing. I sure wish I had an extra thousand dollars to send your way.
I think it would be wise to try not to complain about the situation, Erin, if it is in fact a mutually beneficial arrangement. If you're really trying to be a friend and not a parent - then think like one: if you saw your friend talking negatively about you behind your back (esp. to the whole world) you loose respect and find it harder to treat them in a friendly manner.
I also KNOW you -- you live your life - let him live his. Don't feel like your things are now automatically up for grabs and don't feel like his business is automatically up for grabs either. Both those things are earned through trust. Just because you are VERY giving in nature doesn't mean that you will get that in return. Know that. Nathan is a GREAT kid - he's hard working and very thoughtful, he just has to be reminded CONSTANTLY of that.
Key to success: butter & sugar- you can't make cookies without them - you won't make friends with your brother (or anyone for that matter) without them either. (that's figurative... not literal. Don't literally shove sticks of butter and TBs of sugar down his throat... just in his ears :)
End of chapter one.
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