It is 1 week away from Thanksgiving. In Phoenix, that means that it is chilly in the morning, but still gets up to 90 degrees in the afternoon.
On the farm, the hens have been laying since late September. We're now getting approximately 9 eggs per day, in all sorts of colors.
It's been a very dry summer, no monsoons, so there have not been many new flowers/blooms for the bees. Consequently, we likely won't be getting a fall/winter honey harvest. We had an awesome honey harvest in May and were optimistic about getting a boon autumn harvest. Alas, 2020 is kicking our butts.
Ada has been homeschooling since June. She was attending Legacy in person until Coronavirus shut everything down in Mid March. Then all of her classes went online, but nothing truly academic occurred. It was a wasted semester for all of the students, but particularly difficult for her as an only child. She was suddenly isolated and without structure. Matt and I still had to work, so she spent her days doing as she pleased, with very little follow through from teachers. This led to the establishment of character traits I'd rather not see in my beautiful little girl. She began hiding and lying about things. I'd come home from work and find her in her messy room, hiding under the covers, watching her tablet or browsing the internet...unsupervised. Goodness only knows what she was watching/reading. Matt was home, but was still working, so he was here if she needed him, but was unavailable to watch her every move. But she's 10yrs old, so he shouldn't have to watch her every move.
By the end of May, the school decided not to count any of the students' grades for the quarter, so it was wasted time. By June, I had decided that we would be doing things differently. I filed an affidavit to homeschool, and so the process began. We quickly realized that Ada doesn't know how to learn. She had always gotten good grades in school, but realized she was very dependent on someone doing the work for her, telling her what to do, etc. We expected the transition to take a while...and it has. Ridiculously long while. From June to August, I researched homeschool programs and curricula. Most of them recommended removing television, computers, etc. I thought that was rather restrictive and harsh, so we chose not to do that.
I'll admit to being naïve in this regard. I had visions of my responsible almost-teenage-child engaged in learning and happily exploring the world, developing talents, etc. I now see the folly in my thinking. I also see it was selfish of me to not want to deprive her of those things, because it meant that Matt and I could not use those things either--lead by example.
I didn't want to do that to her, but more so I didn't want to do that to myself either. I have relied very heavily on television and computer time to help relax after a long day. It's something my father has done my whole life, and I now realize that I have perpetuated it.
This year, 2020, has come with significant changes and trials which have been helping me to see my weaknesses. In March, schools and non-essential businesses shut down. I'm considered an essential worker (medical), but Matt was allowed to do his work from home. This prompted the taking on of several home improvement projects. The chicken coop had been falling over and needed to be repaired/revamped, and now Matt suddenly had time to be able to do that. In April, I became ill with a sinus infection, the first one in almost a year since my sinus surgery. Had to get tested for Covid because of it. Businesses were still shut down, school still shut down. Shortly after, in late April, while helping Matt with the chicken coop, I noticed my fingers, hands, and arms swelling significantly. I could barely move, it hurt so much. I am accustomed to swelling during the summer months. That's been happening for years. And also swelling if I am dehydrated. But it was neither summer, nor was I dehydrated.
After several courses of steroids, x-rays, and blood tests, it was determined I have rheumatoid arthritis. And I already have damage/degeneration in my neck and lower back. Apparently, I've had it for a while, and just thought the pain I'd been experiencing was because I'm so fat. Not so.
Back to homeschooling. I realize now that I've been using unhealthy coping mechanisms which have brought me to this point, and television/computer is one of those. I see now that it has to go, and that there is wisdom in limiting a child's access during these formative years. We had reduced her access to 1 hour per day of TV/phone/internet, and that was working well for us. Any more than that and she became an unbearable brat.
This past week, Matt and I underwent a surgery that will change both of our lives, and hopefully hers as well. We both had a gastric sleeve, and I also had a hernia repair. Our stomachs have been reduced to the size of a small plum. The past few weeks of preparing for the surgery significantly disrupted the structure which had been set in place for Ada. She hasn't completed any academic homework, and has again had almost unfettered access to technology via phone, television, etc while at home and while in the care of family and friends. She stayed with my grandparents for several days while Matt and I were in the hospital and in recovery, and participated in several cousin/party sleepovers. Unfortunately, the reports I received about her behavior revealed significant areas of concern. She did not complete any academics...okay, that's fine. We'll consider this month Fall Break. She spent hours on her phone internet, looking at goodness knows what, watching television, and flat out refused to help her hosts, my grandparents, in cleaning up after her and tending to their home. She called often to complain that people were being mean to her and insisted she wasn't doing anything.
We picked her up on Sunday, with much weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth, during which time we attempted to address her behavior as a guest, during which time she reported she hates us...and Grammie, for telling on her.
Something similar occurred yesterday as well.
So now we're tightening up even more.
I realized last night that I have deprived my child of learning experiences. She doesn't know what it means to clean or to work hard. And she doesn't know how to have leisure without a television/internet access. She is also incapable of making appropriate food choices, and eats and eats all day long.
As of this morning, her world has been turned upside down and is shrinking ever more with each outburst. Expectations have been clearly defined and confirmed. Welcome to Willis Homestead circa 1920.
Dishes will be washed by hand. Leisure will consist of non-technology items, during which time she is to develop talents. The house is to be kept spotless at all times. Today she is learning to scrub a bathroom the way I learned. Many more hard lessons to follow.
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